January 4, 2016.
This day is just beyond words. This day showed me that God is more than the God of everything. He is a personal God.
I was having a really rough day at the hospital that day. Patients here and there complaining, about this and that. We had a late endorsement, so my shift started late as well. It’s hard enough managing 6 patients, how much more 10. I still had to give instructions to patients about to be discharged, there’s one patient whose IV site was infiltrated. Another 30 or so minutes of my time, to spend on the reinsertion.
Over the past weeks, I was questioning God and my situation and how come He’s not doing anything about it. Why haven’t I had opened doors and opportunities? I was on that season in my life where I was in the verge of just giving up and be lame and sit all day, pondering about my life’s disappointments. I don’t enjoy what I’m doing anymore. I feel like a failure already.
It was during this particular day that my mind was just blown away of God’s love for me. As I was walking through the hallway, one of my patient’s door was open. I was about to go back to the station to find a doctor to refer my patient that had just vomited blood. I was walking fast, of course, as this was an urgent situation. But then, there I saw the most beautiful sunset. Don’t get me wrong, I looooove sunsets. I just love them! If you visit my social media sites, it is almost full of sunset pictures.
I didn’t let this one particular sunset slip. I gave it a quick glance and proceeded to walk to the station. A millisecond later, I realized it was God calling me. I stepped back and saw, heard and felt the sunset. And I am absolutely sure it was His presence just surrounding me and telling me that He is there. He is present in all my troubles and He is there to back me up, whatever happens. He is telling me that He is sovereign above anything that I’m afraid of. He is more than my problems and doubts. He is God! Not just God with authority and power, but also a Father who’s loving and is full of mercy.
There are those desperate times that I am not proud of, asking God to show Himself in my midst because I was just not feeling His presence at all. I love sunsets, it’s very relaxing and comforting to me. I always catch it whenever I can. I’d like to say I’ve seen all kinds of them (but not really). However, that sunset wasn’t like any other sunset. It was like God was talking to me directly:
My daughter, I am here. I have not forsaken you. I have plans for you that is beyond your imagination. You just need to trust me, my daughter. I am here with you. I am always here with you. Cast all that burden upon me. Trust me on this. I will never leave you empty handed. I will prosper you. You just have to wait for my timing. I love you, my daughter.
It is such a sweet, sweet lullaby to hear, see and feel God that way. It’s just too personal. He just knows what to say and when to say it. That sunset revealed to me so many things about God. Not only that, it also made me realize my attitude and character towards God, how is my faith and how bold am I for Him. It also made me be to realize that I need to be more sensitive of His calling, of His voice.
This year, 2016, I am believing God for a lot of things. I have pages of things I am in faith of. That sunset reminds me that God is more than just a God who answers prayers with “yes”, “no” and “wait”. He is a God who loves no boundaries. No matter what you’ve been through, no matter how unfaithful you’ve been to Him, He is constant. He is the same God in the Bible, the same God our friends talk about when they have their breakthroughs. He is the same God who delivers us. He is also the same God who will bring us breakthroughs upon breakthroughs.
We just have to trust Him.