When God answers differently

Hi there.

Ever feel like God is silent in your life? Ever feel like He’s been MIA? Well, I have one question: How is your quiet time? How is your relationship with Him?

Seek Him First

First things first. Relationships go both ways. You can’t keep on “crying out” to God and not spend time to wait for His answer. You can’t keep on praying and complaining (or maybe even grumbling), “Where is Your promise?” if you haven’t been reading your Bible and actually seeking Him. Now, I hope we don’t do it ONLY when we are asking something from Him. The famous verse from Matthew 6:33 says this “But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.” It may sound easy, but when God tests you of your faith and what you really want in life, are you still willing to seek Him with ALL your heart, soul, and mind?

God’s “silence” might make us impatient and unfaithful at times but remember that it also reveals something. Silence or the absence of something doesn’t actually mean there’s nothing there. Sometimes it is necessary for us to be able to listen closely to what really matters.

1. Silence Reveals Our Hearts

Few days ago, I was having this battle in my heart of where should I belong. Now, we all have that question or questions like “Why am I here?” “What am I doing with my life?” “Where should I go?” “What should I do with my life?.” (Or am I the only one? If you have the same question/s as I do, then keep on reading.) Back to the questions at hand, I was actually questioning God. I have to say that I’m not proud of that. But it’s human nature to question things “why,” “why not,” or “how.” And do you know what happens when you keep asking these questions? It burdens you! It weighs you down and it is not healthy for all the aspects of your life, especially spiritually. It happened to me. Where’s the faith in there?

“Why do you call me ‘Lord, Lord,’
and not do what I tell you?” Luke 6:46.

When we ask God for something and He doesn’t respond in a way that we want to, what does that tell us about our hearts? What does that reveal to us? I hope and pray that whatever it is that you’re praying for doesn’t reveal “worldly” things. I hope that it doesn’t reveal our bitterness and dirty attitudes. However, the good news is even though it reveals those things in our hearts right now, He is more than willing to cleanse our hearts so that it He may reign over our lives once again. Whatever it is that you’re praying for and God’s response isn’t something you were hoping for, I pray that you’ll have a change in perspective about it. That you would see things the way God would want you to. I pray that you will be grateful for all the answers God has given you, whether you liked it or not. I pray that you will see things through God’s heart for you.

2. Silence Reveals God’s Glory in Our Lives

Whatever it is that you are going through right now, God is telling you:

“Cast your burden on the Lord,
and he will sustain you;” Psalm 55:22a

Is it that simple? Yes. In fact, it’s all He ever wants us to do. We have to acknowledge in humility that we are weak so that we may experience God’s strength and glory over our lives. This season will pass. Whatever trials you are in right now, it will pass. Embrace that season of hardships because once you get through that, His glory will be revealed and then all the more that we will realize that we are indeed NOTHING WITHOUT HIM. All the more that we will praise Him in every trial that we are going to face because the moment we realize in our hearts that we need Jesus, we are never going to stop praising Him for everything that we are going through. We have to know in our heart that as Christians, we must reflect God’s glory and character in us so that people who doesn’t know about Him will be amazed at who He is. And God is more than willing to guide us through that. He is more than willing to pick us up every time we fall short of His glory. He does not condemn us of our sins but He forgives and He loves us no matter what we have done against Him. And when we experience that love and forgiveness over our lives, He wants us to show others of this great love and forgiveness that we have experienced.

“Then I will teach transgressors your ways,
    and sinners will return to you.” Psalm 51:13

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I prayed and asked God for certain things, yet He gave me so much more of what I needed and wanted. He gave me Jesus and indeed, He’s all I ever need.

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Hello 2017!

I know, I know. Two months ago I said I will post more regularly. But still here we are, a new year has come, and it will be my second post since I made that “promise.” Well, I’m never going to make that promise again. Haha! Kidding. Or not. 

A little too late to welcome the new year, how excited are you for this 2017? It’s that time of the year again where people make “resolutions” or “things I need to accomplish this year” kind of posts. I am totally not against that, I’m a fan of new years!

It just makes me realize how grateful and truly grateful I am that I don’t have to wait for a whole new year to receive God’s grace and mercy. Imagine how hard would that be! Maybe it would take you another year just to confess all that you need to lay down to the Lord. How blessed are we as the children of God that we can come before Him any time of the day, month or year! And it doesn’t matter what time, He is listening to us whatever time or day we talk to Him! I am just so grateful that His mercies are new EVERY MORNING.


God’s love for us is never ending. It knows no limits. He just keeps on loving us everyday, unconditionally. He doesn’t keep record of what we did wrong today. He just extends His grace and love and mercy because that is how He loves us. Because that is who He is as our Father.
I’m grateful that during the past 2016, I didn’t have to wait for another year to experience God’s love. It was and is available anytime. He only asks for us to accept it. And that, even with us rebelling against Him, He still loves us. He doesn’t choose whom He loves. He just does.

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A Quarter of a Century 

I turned 25 recently and it’s still not sinking in. (Or maybe it is as I’m reviewing this draft.)

Looking back the past year, God has blessed me with so much, sometimes I can’t understand why I deserve this. But He says to me, “You are worth it my child. And you only deserve the best.”

Ahh! This is the God that I worship! So sweet and loving and so personal in His promises to me. He knows my deepest needs and even wants.

This past year is a grace-filled year. So much He has blessed me with, which I don’t deserve one bit. Yet still, He gives. Not because of what I’ve done (because, duh, I my works is never enough) but because that’s who He is as My Father.

I’ve also learned a lot about Him. The situations and circumstances I’ve been through magnifies God and who He is in my life and how He extends His grace into my life. He never failed me. He has always been there to correct me, rebuke me, and teach me, all because He loves me.

I may not be where I imagined myself to be (I had plans for myself, plans I thought were nice and practical), but God has indeed placed me in a much better place at the perfect time. This year for me is a reminder that He always knows best whether we understand it or not. But that’s where faith comes in. That’s where our hearts are tested. That’s where our faith gets tested.

Thank you Lord for your faithfulness over the past year. I’m excited to see what lies ahead!

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Amidst the pain

Seems like this blog always talks about pain, if you’ve seen my previous posts. Haha.

Pain is necessary. Pain is normal. Pain is something we don’t like but in the end it is something we thank for.

The past few days have been rough. Let’s just say there were some things that were supposed to be hidden in a deep, black pit but was uncovered after how many years. Let’s just say for so long I know it was going to be dug up whether I liked it or not. To be honest, I really don’t. But I also know it was necessary for me to grow into the person God wants me to be. Somehow, I’ve been trying to hide to avoid people finding out and for people to not ask questions.

One day, God asked me to tell this secret to a person or else He would expose it. I told Him, “For what? You already know what it is, why should another human being also have to know about it?”

Long story short God exposed it.

At first I was like, “Okay.”

Then I was like, “Why, Lord?! I thought it was our secret?”

God said He allowed it because He loves me.

For a second there you might think I had another fit with God. I did. But the truth is, He really did it because He loved me, not to condemn me.

So then I was like, “Thank you Lord!”

If that didn’t happen, I wouldn’t realize how much this sin have been living in me like an idol. I wouldn’t realize how much I’ve been ignoring God. I wouldn’t know that I needed more of Him instead. I wouldn’t realize how much selfish I’ve been all those years.

There might be a lot of pain while God is correcting and rebuking me, but He is doing it out of love. Maybe He was a little bit disappointed or angry, but still amidst all the pain, He is still telling me how much He loves me nevertheless.

Maybe you’re in a situation where you think you cannot get out of. Trust me, God is always there right beside you waiting for you to hold His hand. Yes, he’s disappointed but His grace and mercy just envelopes into a big giant hug and He’s telling you right now how much He loves you. He’s telling you that He has already paid the price and you don’t have to worry about anything but loving Him back.

He’s telling you right now, “Stop crying, my child. I’m here. And I will never leave you.”

 

The Most Beautiful Sunset Ever

January 4, 2016.

This day is just beyond words. This day showed me that God is more than the God of everything. He is a personal God.

I was having a really rough day at the hospital that day. Patients here and there complaining, about this and that. We had a late endorsement, so my shift started late as well. It’s hard enough managing 6 patients, how much more 10. I still had to give instructions to patients about to be discharged, there’s one patient whose IV site was infiltrated. Another 30 or so minutes of my time, to spend on the reinsertion.

Over the past weeks, I was questioning God and my situation and how come He’s not doing anything about it. Why haven’t I had opened doors and opportunities? I was on that season in my life where I was in the verge of just giving up and be lame and sit all day, pondering about my life’s disappointments. I don’t enjoy what I’m doing anymore. I feel like a failure already.

It was during this particular day that my mind was just blown away of God’s love for me. As I was walking through the hallway, one of my patient’s door was open. I was about to go back to the station to find a doctor to refer my patient that had just vomited blood. I was walking fast, of course, as this was an urgent situation. But then, there I saw the most beautiful sunset. Don’t get me wrong, I looooove sunsets. I just love them! If you visit my social media sites, it is almost full of sunset pictures.

I didn’t let this one particular sunset slip. I gave it a quick glance and proceeded to walk to the station. A millisecond later,  I realized it was God calling me. I stepped back and saw, heard and felt the sunset. And I am absolutely sure it was His presence just surrounding me and telling me that He is there. He is present in all my troubles and He is there to back me up, whatever happens. He is telling me that He is sovereign above anything that I’m afraid of. He is more than my problems and doubts. He is God! Not just God with authority and power, but also a Father who’s loving and is full of mercy.

There are those desperate times that I am not proud of, asking God to show Himself in my midst because I was just not feeling His presence at all. I love sunsets, it’s very relaxing and comforting to me. I always catch it whenever I can. I’d like to say I’ve seen all kinds of them (but not really). However, that sunset wasn’t like any other sunset. It was like God was talking to me directly:

My daughter, I am here. I have not forsaken you. I have plans for you that is beyond your imagination. You just need to trust me, my daughter. I am here with you. I am always here with you. Cast all that burden upon me. Trust me on this. I will never leave you empty handed. I will prosper you. You just have to wait for my timing. I love you, my daughter.

It is such a sweet, sweet lullaby to hear, see and feel God that way. It’s just too personal. He just knows what to say and when to say it. That sunset revealed to me so many things about God. Not only that, it also made me realize my attitude and character towards God, how is my faith and how bold am I for Him. It also made me be to realize that I need to be more sensitive of His calling, of His voice. 

This year, 2016, I am believing God for a lot of things. I have pages of things I am in faith of. That sunset reminds me that God is more than just a God who answers prayers with “yes”, “no” and “wait”. He is a God who loves no boundaries. No matter what you’ve been through, no matter how unfaithful you’ve been to Him, He is constant. He is the same God in the Bible, the same God our friends talk about when they have their breakthroughs. He is the same God who delivers us. He is also the same God who will bring us breakthroughs upon breakthroughs.

We just have to trust Him.

2015

This year was a total life-changing for me. There were a lot of things that happened this year than in all my life combined. Okay, maybe not really but close.

January: I passed the Nurse’s Licensure Exam. Plus, all of my batchmates. We got a 100% passing on our batch.

February: our pinning ceremony where we pledged an oath as professionals.

March: Graduation!

May: I get to go to Singapore again this year.

June: applied for an externship program for nurses in one of the hospitals here in our city.

September: passed 2 interviews and 1 exam. Also the month I started at the hospital.

December: almost done with the 3-month training and still figuring out what to do with my career.

Still praying for where God will lead me next year, but also praying for an open heart and mind as I obey His will for my life.

It’s been a great year, Lord. And there’s so much blessings that you’ve given me. More importantly, I learned that there so much more things more significant in this life. More than success, more than money and sometimes even more than friends and family. All these things will be gone one day but You are the most faithful of all. Thank you for not giving up on me despite my hard-headedness and hard-heartedness (?). You are the reason why this year had been so amazing. Looking forward for more of You in the next year!

On Relationships

I think it’s sad how some women define themselves by how men (or people) look at them. It’s sad that people are (or wants to be) defined by society.

I think we lack people that tells these words to those who need it. I think we seldom be an example (especially to yound women) that’s why we don’t seem to be a role model to them. Maybe we should start acting like we care for the younger generation by becoming like the woman we want our daughters to be. Maybe, just with that simple step, this world will be a little bit better.

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Random thoughts from my notebook #1

I think it’s funny how we let go of things we thought we could never let go of. That picture we think is the “best” but then turns out looking “blah” after a few days or even years. Got me thinking that maybe life is as simple or as superficial like that. Simple because it’s just as easy to say “No” to some things, maybe most even; and superficial because the things that you can easily let go of eventually are actually the ones you just thought valuable, but not really. They are the ones that you value so much for one second, but when along the way you see something better, you just drop it off like it never meant anything to you for a while.

Maybe sometimes we’re just complicating things. Maybe the things are as simple as “yes”, and “no” but we complicate things because as much as we don’t want it to become complicated, we also don’t want it to be that simple. There are a lot of things to learn from this life and I believe our own character, attitude and our life altogether is defined by how we respond to that simple “yes” or “no”.

Love never-ending.

How much could you really love someone?

Whenever you tell someone, “I love you very much”, how much is very much? I believe we never could really love someone so much until we know the Author of love himself. There’s so much satisfaction and fulfilment once we get to know Him. Aside from that already-beautiful thing, there’s so much to learn from Him. Everyday is different, everyday is like falling in love again and again for the first time.

Now imagine all this love inside you.

You can’t wait to share it to others, right? Because of its overflowing power, you are capable of loving others just how Jesus loves you!

This is the goal of my [new] blog: to talk about pretty normal stuff happening in life, and in the process learning what is in that situation that God wants me (us) to learn. I know I’m not perfect, I will have some rants posted here but in the end it’s all about Him and how can we learn to respond to situations given to us.

See you around!

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Lord, if this is your will, help me to understand your ways. Help me to see what you see. Remind me of the days I’ve longed for the “why’s” then you gave me an answer. I don’t know which road to take, but direct me in Your path, Lord. Lead me not to go astray on my own ways, but to rely on You alone. Break my heart for the things you do not like. Break the chains that bind me to sin. Show me Your ways, Lord…